CRYING IN MY COCONUT WATER

I have to remind myself how far I have come
even if some numbers are still high
I am not a number
I am a soul
with a body
I am trying to train

I cheated and had pizza. I hardly ate all day and decided to splurge when my husband ordered pizza. If you have followed my journey in the past year I have rarely deviated from my diet and lifestyle. 

I am going through some struggles at the moment and I gave in. This is not a weekend long splurge, just one meal and one time. I am trying to figure somethings out and make a plan. Next month is my one year Anniversary of this blog and I will get past the minor setbacks that are occurring in my life and make all of my goals a reality. I am not down or out, I just have to set the bar higher and work harder. I will be seeking balance as I try to accomplish multiple goals.

If I was not feeling bad already I had to go and throw salt on my open wounds. I finally had my fat percentage and measurements done today. I never did them a year ago so I do not have a starting point to compare them to. I was highly disappointed and I felt like all of my accomplishments of the year were taken away. I felt like I was back at square one. My total fat was 40%. I thought, wow, what the hell was it to begin with? My lower abs were 37, (high) my arm 12, my hips 42 and my thigh was 25. The guy at the gym was rushed for time and only did the right side of my body. He did not do around my upper waist around my rib cage so I did that, and that was 32.  According to an online BMI chart mine is 30.1 
The numbers really left me feeling down, especially with my personal issues I am dealing with now. I almost cried in my coconut water.

A friend once told me life is compromised of hills and valleys. I am stuck in a temporary valley at the moment, but I will climb out even if my fingernails end up bloody and torn, because I will believe that I can. I have come a long way in the last year and I will not let some little occurrence derail me and leave me stranded down in some creak in the bottom of a valley. I will climb high and believe in me. I am a majestic dolphin not a whimpering guppy. I will swim to the surface.

So those are my thoughts at the moment. I have been MIA lately and not been keeping up with my posts. I did volunteer with Reading To Kids last Saturday and I now have two bags of books for the children. I am hoping to have much more when I am finished with the book drive. Volunteering was very rewarding and I feel grateful for the opportunity to do so. I am grateful to friend and children's author Benjamin Harper for his kind donation of his own books. 

No weigh in tomorrow. I am giving myself a break since I have been stuck at 169 lbs. I was told sometimes deviating from your diet tricks your metabolism so tomorrow I am back on track with some healthy changes. Starting now from square one and working my way towards my Birthday on the Winter Solstice, which is six months from tomorrow. That is the next time I will take my measurements and fat caliber test. 

Love and Light
Never Give Up
Rose