Wednesday, June 4, 2014


Before and Now, and I am not stopping even when in a bad mood

Hello to all. I have been working really hard, and this weeks workouts with my trainer with Mike are no exception. I am running again, my toe is healing and it feels good to be picking up the pace. Mike has changed some things up for me, since I am getting stronger. I admit to being slightly sluggish though, this week for some reason feels extra emotional for me. I cannot grasp exactly why, but I feel a bit out of sorts.

Nothing I cannot face, a little time to myself and a little upbeat music should do the trick. I do not wallow in my woes for long, and I always find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Off for now, tomorrow comes all too soon and I am in dire need of sleep. 

A little something I wrote this past weekend, to remind me to count my blessings.

Lessons in Joy

I love life, every blade of grass, every kiss from the whispering wind.  I rarely wallow in my own woes and I try to go through my days with a reverance for nature and living. I try to wear a smile for myself and share it with others;  but I admit to sometimes being painfully human. You know those days, when you tend to spend too much time in self pity and not enough time on self acceptance. I am no different from others, even though those bad days are few and far between for me, I do sometimes succumb to them. The dreaded bad day sometimes clouds your judgement to what is truly important in the scheme of life.

I am an emotional creature, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I am much more complex than I come across on the outside. My husband James knows me completely, and has seen my mood transition from jovial to melancholic in seconds. Usually when this happens I am people watching, it is both a curse and a blessing to notice everything around me. My good friend told me I am an empath, someone who feels the energy of others. That makes complete sense to me, because I often feel to the point of emotional exhaustion.

Sometimes in life you bear witness to a moment in time that humbles you completely. My husband and I recently took a road trip to  Las Vegas and we were hungry so we stopped at a fast food restaurant in Victorville CA. I was hemming and hawing about the lack of healthy choices when my eyes caught a homeless man sitting outside the restaurant. Living in Los Angeles homelessness is not a surprise to me, but seeing someone in that predicament out in a small town like Victorville was. I am very empathetic towards all walks of life, and I believe deep down to my core I am no different from the man sitting on the sidewalk. We are all one, connected by our very own humanity.

We made our way inside and before I could offer to buy him a meal the man came inside and ordered. I will never forget his smile as he walked to a table to eat his dinner, that luminescent ear to ear smile that brought me to tears. Here he was having a simple burger and fries and here we were on our way for a weekend get-a-way in Las Vegas, but you would have thought by the pure joy on his face he was dining at the most exclusive restaurant.  Such delight from such a meager moment most of us take for granted.  A hot meal should not be a privilege but a right for all, but unfortunately that is not always the case. That blissful grin on his face will haunt me every time I forget to count my own blessings. Pure and utter happiness found in the middle of nowhere at a burger joint. A lesson I am always willing to revisit.

It is Sunday evening, and tomorrow it is back to work. My cats are slumbering close by, and all is well with my world.  Life is not perfect, it can be messy and unpredictable but it is a gift just the same. To wake up with the sun each and every morning, to have air in my lungs and love in my heart.  To have the opportunity to brew coffee and reflect on the beauty of being alive, to share my gifts with those who need it most. I do not wish for much, but I wish for it all. 

Love and Light

Love and Light to all.

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