Thursday, July 25, 2013

EATING DISORDER PAST


Age 22




Age 30 with James






                                                                   
Age 38 with Melissa




Age 40



Age 45





Present age 46

When I was thirteen I started dancing, and I was told I was too curvy. It was during a period when it was ok for an adult to tell a pre-teen such a statement. That summer started my obsession with not eating. Food had become the enemy. I literally drank diet coke for breakfast, diet coke for lunch, and when my Mother worked my dinner was lettuce with a slice of cheese and vinegar, sometimes I would crumble crackers in my salad. 

On days when my Mother would cook, I would drink my diet coke, (diet coke made me feel chic), and look through cook books at the photos but I would skip dinner. I ate enough to get by, a yogurt here and there, but when you are young it seems like you just have natural energy even without fuel. One time I starved for four days and then took a box of laxatives. Let's just say my older sister said next time I try such a stunt she would kill me herself. At the age of eighteen my Dr warned my Mother I was headed to anorexia.

I continued this behavior into adult hood, maybe not as extreme but my food issues lingered. My weight sometimes would go up and down. I truly did not start eating normally until I met my husband at the age of 30. But when something would come up those bad habits would come back.
Over the years I have gone back and forth with eating disorders and issues with food. 

                                                                
When I was older, past the age of 38, my thing was Atkins. I did Atkins to an extreme. I would not let any starches touch my lips except broccoli and romaine lettuce. I worked in a very high volume restaurant in Time Square NYC and my manager used to beg me to just eat a damn biscuit. My brain was not functioning properly and I would forget to ring things in.

Now, I am doing Weight Watchers, and it is the best way for me to eat. I am overweight but I have never ever been an over eater. Weight did not become as big of an issue until I reached 40.  I still struggle with skipping meals, even now. I did it yesterday, after work I wanted to get a workout in, and I had errands to do before dinner. So I didn't eat anything for lunch. I try to catch myself, but sometimes old habits die hard. I am a work in progress. My best friend Melissa is always on me about this., and I am trying.

So today I am going to work on kicking my bad habits, and I am going to eat. I am also attending another Richard Simmons class, which I am extremely excited about. I love his class, and Richard works you out or else. I have a friend joining me so more photos to follow. My plan is to sustain everything I am doing for the long haul. I have my work cut out for me but I am completely motivated and inspired. Wishing everyone sunshine and smiles.

Namaste
Love and Light
Be sure to eat
Rose




3 comments:

  1. Hi Rose. I think it's awesome how bravely are you are sharing your story with all of us. I think it's a great step in the right direction! I admire your courage. Keeping your blood sugar level stable throughout the day will keep your metabolism in high gear! Add in your workouts and up goes your metabolism even more, especially when you do weight training. More muscle = more calorie burning. You seem determined to live healthy and to begin showing the love and compassion you offer the world so easily to yourself! It's a lifelong journey that takes time and patients to develop! I'm routing for you!!

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  2. Thank you Elizabeth, your comment comes to me at a moment of realization of the fact I have such a long way to go. All of a sudden I feel a little overwhelmed but I am over tired so that is probably the reason why. A lot of this has been hidden, so coming out with it is frightening to a point. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the support. Love and light. xo

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  3. Recovery from eating disorder takes time. One cannot just wake up one morning and easily start a new eating habit. The good thing here is you have the desire to fight your eating disorder. Keep an active lifestyle and never be afraid to eat whatever you like --- in moderation.

    -Natalia Campos @ PrimaryCareAK.com/Lake-Otis.html

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